He’s gonna be mad…
Oct12
Hi folks!
Thank you to everyone who came by while I was at Thought Bubble! I met some super cool people while I was there, which was great. Also, related, uh, sorry it took me so long to get this page up. I’m all out of excuses, please love me anyway.
I enjoy this comic but the advice Ken here is getting is pure crap. Seriously.
Charlie and Finn are totally right, Ken shouldn’t expect a medal for not cheating. Monogamy isn’t for everyone after all, he needs to figure out what he wants.
I’m with AJ. Though it might be that Hiroshi will get jealous and mad, he also needs to learn to trust Ken if it’s going to work. This is a good step in establishing that trust.
“infidelity of desire”? That’s ridiculous. Thought police much?
I’m on Ken’s side here. Thought-sin is BS. The only fact that matters is that he did not cheat. Maybe he doesn’t deserve a medal for it, but he doesn’t deserve to get razzed, either.
I agree that if Hiroshi is the jealous type, he might well be upset, but that’s his problem, not Ken’s, and those poisonous feelings are for him to deal with without smearing them all over Ken. Ken did nothing wrong, period.
Hm…an interesting persepctive from Ken, Charlie, and Finn. I’d like to give them all ghe benefit of doubt. It sounds seems like Finn and Charlie are communicating poorly (and I agree they shouldn’t be razzing Ken). To me, it sounds like they’re saying:
Ken: “I resisted a hookup and didn’t cheat, I deserve a reward.”
Finn and Charlie: “Not hooking up is a fundamental part of monogamy. You don’t get a reward for doing the most basic part of what you agreed to in your relationship. Your boyfriend will likely be mad that you think not hooking up is going above and beyond, after you ready agreed to be monogamous.”
Ken: “But being monogamous is a huge sacrifice (or change) for me. That should be recognized.” (A valid perspective.)
Finn and Charlie: “That attitude is going to erode your relationship with Hiroshi. He’a going to need you to have monogamy be your only option while in this relationship or else he’s going to have to worry that you see every interaction as a potential hookup you evaluate on a case-by-case basis whether or not to pursue.”
I’m not saying Finn and Charlie are correct in their prediction about Hiroshi. They could very well be wrong, as they don’t know him well.
Also, I agree that ” thoght sin” is a toxic mindset to have.
This is such utter stupid toxic monogamy bullcrap. You are always going to WANT to mess around with others. You’re always going to find other people attractive. That does not change once you enter into a monogamous relationship and anyone whose in a monogamous relationship who says otherwise is lying. Ken was offered sex he said no. He fulfilled the rules of monogamy. This is not a partial credit thing. If you the author are going to use this as someway of showing the goodness of monogamy count me out. All it shows is the problems with the f-ed up rules of the monogamous mindset.
I think the issue here is that Ken’s acting like it’s something out of the ordinary for someone in a monogamous relationship to occasionally have sexual thoughts about another person and not act on them. Charlie’s simply not being as direct as he probably needs to be to get through to Ken, whose main “sin” is inexperience.
Still a bit floored by how badly this idea has aged. Getting mad at the person are monogamous with because someone hit on them? Nahhh, 2 basic 4 me.
Gotta say, as an occasionally non-monogamous person I didn’t read the depth of subtext that I see being discussed here in the comments when I first read the strip. Or, perhaps, it’s more specific to say that I didn’t get particularly miffed or situate all of Charlie’s response as toxic monogamy.
I did, and do even more now that I’ve read the responses to the comic, track the presence of some kinda gross mores around how you’re supposed to respond to “not going through with it” if you’re monogamous, sure. But I have to admit that if a monogamous partner ever excitedly told me that they did not break the rules of our relationship even when they had a chance to, I would probably strain my eyes from all the rolling.
I also don’t think it’s a bad thing to disclose. It’s neutral. I wouldn’t be upset with my partner, I just wouldn’t care and would kind of be surprised if they were expecting affirmation from me for it.
So I guess what I mean is that I think all of the people in this comic are acting sort of pigheaded.
Emotional cheating is absolutely a real thing. However, what happened at the bar wasn’t even close to that. Ken was interested but backed off out of respect for his partner; the worst he can be accused of is being a human being.